


When Shigeru met Kyoutani without knowing

by jagua hu (Fujocali)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, Confessions, Denial, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Iwaizumi is a good senpai, Kyoutani is so awkward, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oikawa being his sly self, Online Friendship, Slow Burn, Tumblr, as far as i can remember, i apologize in advance for canon inaccuracies, implied iwaoi, it will develop eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:30:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujocali/pseuds/jagua%20hu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to a certain captain's insistence, Shigeru has to share his tumblr account with the team. Fake account, of course.<br/>He didn't expect to make a new friend online.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Splitting personality

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is my first haikyuu fanfic, and English is not my first language, so bear with me and correct my grammar if you see mistakes. This chapter is short, more like a test of sorts. But if you like it, let me know!

“Oh? Yahaba-chan has a tumblr? Tell me, tell me! I’m following you right away!”

 

It had all started with that phrase. He had been distracted, and stressed out by Kyoutani’s usual surliness that he didn’t think twice what he had answered.

They had finished practice, and were talking about some viral video. Then Oikawa had said he had already seen it a million times before it became popular, because he had “a tumblr account, where all those _old_ videos and weird memes come from”, and so on. Shigeru had snorted bitterly, and subconsciously agreed to him.

Now Yahaba was panicking. There was no way he would openly reveal his tumblr username to anyone, least Oikawa, of all people. That site was his private dumpster of sin, meaning the one place he could be himself without being judged. Well, most of the time. Speaking of time, it seemed to have stopped as he still wasn’t reacting.

 

_THINK FAST, SHIGERU_.

 

“What, are you embarrassed we see your dark side? He, he~”, winked the setter. At that, Matsukawa and Hanamaki turned their attention to the conversation. _Oh, no, I don’t need those two noticing my obvious blush._

“Nah, I never use it anyways” Yahaba rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool. He practically ran to his locker, retrieved his things without changing clothes, and waved goodbye to the team members.

“Oi! We were talking!” he heard Oikawa’s offended voice from behind.

“Tomorrow, Oikawa-san, my mom’s waiting me for dinner!” he shouted back, as he hurriedly walked out of the gym.

He was suffocating. Gladly, he escaped that one, but he was certain it hadn’t ended there. Oikawa was persistent as hell when he wanted something.

So, when he arrived home he invested his time in creating a new tumblr. One that DID NOT contain pages and pages of nsfw fanart and muscly Olympic volleyball players. This was probably a stupid idea, he knew. But Oikawa wasn’t _stupid_ , even though he looked as one. There must be an evil master plan after his persistence, then.

The moment he had that thought his phone rang. It was the sound of the volleyball group chat, and as he reached for it and read the new message from Oikawa, he found his earlier suspicions confirmed.

 

**Oikawa-san >Yahoo boys, missed me? ****∠** **(** **ᐛ** **」∠** **)** **＿**

**Oikawa-san > Yahaba chaaaaaaaaan gimme your tumblr!! I wanna send you a volley thing ;)**

 

Yahaba congratulated himself. He had created, exceptionally fast, a very “Yahaba-like” tumblr: He reblogged lots of aesthetic posts, abstract art, a few male fashion things (because he couldn’t help himself), and great volleyball plays. Oh, and every single thing was properly tagged.

He recalled his other account, the _sinful one,_ and how he would NEVER tag anything unless for incoherent keyboard smashes. He thought for a millisecond this felt a bit like splitting personalities, but shook it reminding himself he would only use this account to make Oikawa stop asking. Yeah, he didn’t want his darkest secrets to come out, this was protecting himself, he assured.

 

>Fiiine, here you go Oikawa-san

>shige-sthetic.tumblr.com

> YES, no need to tell me it’s a lame name, but couldn’t think of anything else, happy now?

 

**Hanamaki-san > LOOOOL**

 

**Oikawa-san > So thats why you wouldnt tell me? cant blame you! ahhaha **

 

Yahaba smirked, congratulating himself once again for thinking of that too.


	2. Just like a dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if i have any grammar mistakes, please correct me. Enjoy!

Next morning Yahaba got up early as always, even though he would really like to take a nap for another thirty minutes. He went for a run while his mother prepared breakfast. This has been his daily routine since he had entered Aoba Johsai’s volleyball team, and just when he had felt that his efforts were beginning to bear fruit, they had lost against Karasuno. It had been a blow for all of them. But there was no point lamenting if they wanted to maintain the team’s excellent reputation.

Exhausted but satisfied for stretching his legs, he returned home and devoured the pancakes waiting for him. Before taking a shower he remembered his phone had ran out of battery last night, so he plugged it to charge.

 

When he came back Yahaba expected to find nearly a hundred unread messages from the chat group. But oddly, only Matsukawa had added “What a boring blog”. He had no new messages except from Watari. There were (9) unread messages. He got a bit worried, what would Watari need?

 

**Watari > PFFFF man, how did you do it??**

**Watari > yahaba you dirty af, there’s no way that’s your real tumblr**

**Watari > i knew sth was a bit off when he mentioned it**

**Watari > lol you LIED to Oikawa’s face!**

**Watari > i give you that, u got balls**

**Watari > but u can’t lie to me**

**Watari > i can see right through you, fudanshi creep**

**Watari > hey don’t leave me speaking alone**

**Watari > ;-;**

 

“Oh dear” he giggled. Of course, his best friend would have figured out that that wasn’t his real account.

> Sorry haha, I ran out of battery last night

> And you’re right

> Don’t you dare tell anyone!! >:(

>…please

 

The answer came quickly.

**Watari > I solemnly swear to keep your gay ass safe (** **◡‿◡✿** **)**

 

He sighed, relieved. Not that he truly doubted his friend. Yahaba was in the closet for everybody else, and really feared being discovered. In fact, he put a bit (“a bit too much”, as Watari would say) effort in being seen interested in girls. Yahaba still didn’t know where he had gotten the courage to tell Watari, but he was glad he did. Watari was all the support he needed currently.

However, he had completely forgotten about the tumblr thing. Now he acknowledged the “T” notifications on the top of his phone. They belonged to the fake account. What? Oh, right, his phone had died before he could log out.

 

**5 notes**

_ufos-ufoseverywhere reblogged your post and added “This outfit is actually very nice”_

_ufos-ufoseverywhere liked your post_

_ufos-ufoseverywhere liked your post_

_18643213not-a-bot started following you_

_ufos-ufoseverywhere started following you_

He didn’t have to check the blog too much. The title (“Yahoo~  ^o^”) was revealing enough. Oikawa reblogged lots, _lots_ of volleyball stuff, like weird setter techniques from the Olympics. There were also occasional conspiracy theories, like the Jar Jar Binks Theory he still found way too hilarious to be true, but the captain had commented with an astonished emoji finding it very convincing. One image caught his attention: it was about an unrequited crush, and he had tagged it as “#same”, “#accurate”. Oh well, Oikawa having an unrequited crush… that would be something new. He stopped scrolling, because it felt too intimate. How did Oikawa post such embarrassing posts without fearing being a little judged by the other team members? Ah, but Yahaba wasn’t sure they knew. The other blog had some announcements, naked women, and weird looking stuff, so he blocked it. _I hate bots._

He was a bit surprised the captain hadn’t sent him that “volleyball thing” he said he would. Today he would ask him, because he had taken the time to create a new blog and it had been for nothing.

 

 

School went easy as usual. Watari wouldn’t stop teasing him about yesterday, but aside from that, everything was normal. At lunch time they sit under a tree and chatted amicably about nothing in particular. The sun was warm, so Yahaba stretched out his arms and folded them in the back of his head, lying on the grass, feeling the sun rays with his eyes closed.

“Kyoutani’s looking at you. You guys have been fighting again?”

“What? No?”

“Well, yesterday and the day before too” commented Watari, growing suspicious of Yahaba.

“No, Watari, we’re fine.”

Yahaba frowned, trying to remember. They hadn’t had an argument since… well, since their public show on the court against Karasuno, about a week ago. He still recalled a bit embarrassed the intensity of that. Their faces had been barely five centimeters apart. But it had worked, though.

After that, it was clear that Kyoutani began attending practice more regularly, and was even willing to play as a part of the team. He thought everything was okay between them; he had made sure of that.

 

~

“No harsh feelings, Kyoutani?” he had asked him, when they were in the locker room. Kyoutani resisted to look at him in the eyes.

“Yeah, whatever” he muttered.

Yahaba tried to conceal his own frustration as best as he could, not to throw it into the blond-haired boy’s face.

“Look. I know what you must be thinking. This wasn’t your fault, okay? I… we all feel the same way. It’s the whole team that loses or wins. They were evidently better than us, so we need to keep improving. You played well today. I’m… really sorry I shouted at you in front of all that people. I was too caught up in the heat of the game. I didn’t think that it might have burdened you with our victory or failure. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry” Yahaba bit his lip in remorse.

Kyoutani had finally payed attention to him at those last words, and was staring at him, eyes big and his lips slightly parted. _Just like a puppy_.

“Don’t cry. We’ll win next time.”

Yahaba hadn’t realized he had gotten his eyes all watery.

“Sh-shut up. Go home and have a good rest”

“Sure, mom” had mocked the other boy, but did as told.

~

 

 

With Kyoutani it was difficult to say. Maybe Yahaba had done something to piss him off? He couldn’t recall anything. Probably he was having another i-hate-the-world phase. _Ugh_.

“He looks upset. I’m going to call him here”

“Wait, Wata-”

“Hey, Kyoutani! Come here!”

Yahaba grumbled. His day had been too good, of course something -someone- had to ruin it.

“It’s okay, Yahaba. He’s alone and sulking. Probably just wanted to join us anyway.”

_That’s not how you’re supposed to make friends_ , he thought, but propped himself up on his elbow. He caught Kyoutani’s glare, before he got up and walked away.

“Oh? He’s gone” Watari announced.

“The hell? What’s gotten into him this time?”

 “You probably scared him off”

“Hey! Whose side are you on?”

Yahaba knew what this meant: he would have to talk to him at some point. He wasn’t really looking forward to it. The blond made him feel restless; but apart from Iwaizumi, Oikawa and Watari, there wasn’t anybody who would _willingly_ speak to him.

_Ah, let’s play ‘how much can I ignore his surliness if it doesn’t compromise the team play’._

 

 

 

At practice it wasn’t much better. Yahaba could _feel_ that burning gaze on his neck all the time. It was extremely disturbing, but he didn’t want to lose his temper with him just yet. _Ignore, ignore, ignore._

“Yahaba-chan~ what are you thinking? Focus, focus!” Oikawa pointed out.

Damn, he had been too busy being hyper-aware of Kyoutani’s stare. So much that his movements were becoming imprecise, and made the spikers lose their accuracy. _Stupid Kyoutani, with his mood swings and his scowl and his useless spikes, put those muscles to a better use._

His thoughts were erratic; there was no need in blaming Kyoutani for this. Even though he, oh, wanted to so much. Taking a few deep breaths, he put the blond aside in the back of his mind, and regained concentration.

 

He succeeded for the rest of the practice, managing to set some good plays. Panting for air, he sat on the bench and retrieved his water bottle. Kyoutani’s odd behavior hadn’t been on his thoughts for an hour, until now.

He could see him from the corner of his eye, watching him, _again_. Okay, that was it. Yahaba had zero tolerance to undeserved hate, or at least that’s what he thought this was. He put the bottle down and swiftly directed his gaze towards Kyoutani. The blond seemed to flinch when their eyes met, looking surprised and distressed. He promptly averted his eyes, and almost run to the locker room, leaving Yahaba more baffled than ever. _Oikawa’s nickname suits him. He’s truthfully like a dog._

Oh, now he remembered he had something to ask Oikawa. What was it? Ah, right.

“Oikawa-san, what was that volleyball thing you wanted to send me?

“Huh?” came the response. The captain seemed to be looking in the same direction Kyoutani had disappeared.

“You know. Yesterday, when you insisted I give you my tumblr…”

He blinked and seemed a little perplexed for a moment.

“Ah ha ha ha! That! Of course, of course” Oikawa scratched his head, putting on his best innocent face “I guess I forgot, sorry. Iwa-chan, let’s go home!”

_Of course, Oikawa-san._ But there wasn’t anything he could say. He couldn’t reproach him that he had created a fake account only for him to “forget” sending whatever he wanted to send. He watched Oikawa put his arm around the neck of his friend as they exited the gym.  
  
  
When he was heading to the lockers to get changed, Kyoutani was heading out. Yahaba saw his chance to settle things down. They were far away enough from the others. Praying to all the gods this would end fine, he grabbed Kyoutani by the collar of his shirt and sent him inside the room, so the chances to be heard would be the lowest. _Here we go again_ , he thought as he shoved him against the wall.

“Hey, Kyoutani. Did I upset you, or what’s gotten into you? You’ve been acting weird.”

The boy wore again that taken aback expression on his face. It was kind of _cute._

“Tsk. It’s nothing.” He wouldn’t look at Yahaba, preferring to lock his eyes on the floor.

 “Then why have you been throwing daggers at me all day as if you planned to murder me?”

 “I didn’t-!” he turned his head to face him. “I don’t hate you or anything like that.”

Kyoutani put his hand on Yahaba’s, and mildly pushed it away. Was it just him, or the air had gotten a little heavy?

“Ugh, just, forget about it okay?”

With that, Kyoutani left the room. And Yahaba stood there, puzzled. At least Kyoutani didn’t hate him, but the situation was confusing as hell. He sighed. This team was proving to be both his favorite and the worst thing ever happened to him.

 

 

 

Later that night, his phone showed him a new tumblr notification.

_fangsandsports started following you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and if you were wondering, yes i created all of their blogs for your further entertainment (except the bot omg) Here:
> 
> http://shige-sthetic.tumblr.com/  
> http://ufos-ufoseverywhere.tumblr.com/  
> http://fangsandsports.tumblr.com/
> 
> they are all side-blogs, so not much to do really x//D


	3. The start of a new friendship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the slow update, but life has punched me quite a lot in the last weeks. I'll try to update soon from now on. All your comments and kudos are appreciated! i love you guys for encouraging me! <33

_Oh? Who might this be?_ wondered Yahaba as he scrolled through the new follower’s blog. It wasn’t very friendly at first sight to be honest. If its title wasn’t enough proof (“Animals are better than people”), then the gray and black theme with a lone wolf as icon made him wary. _Ok… if you hate people so much then why did you follow me_?, he raised an eyebrow. _Probably just another annoying bot_. They were everywhere these days.

He was about to block it when some notifications started to pop up.

_fangsandsports liked your photo_

_fangsandsports liked your link_

Just because he had already done his homework and was bored as hell, he decided to keep snooping around. The blog was mostly filled with funny vines about animals (he watched them all, because who can resist a corgi stampede?), and there were also some curious volleyball techniques, tagged as “#reference”. They apparently _adored_ corgis, metal music and volleyball. So, this person maybe played the sport? And anyway, how did they find his- _OH_.

 

_OF COURSE_.

 

It had to be someone from the team. He had shared his fake account with them after all. But, who was it? There was only one way to find out. Heart beating fast, he opened the chat window. What was he so nervous about, anyway?

 

**shige-sthetic**  
  
> _Oi, which annoying one are you?_

**fangsandsports**

> _Hah? Excuse you?_ came the immediate answer.

Hm. So, it wasn’t a robot.

**shige-sthetic**  
  
> _From the team, duh. Who are you?_

The response took a little longer than before.

**fangsandsports**  
  
> _Idk what youre talking about_

Yahaba narrowed his eyes. He was still suspicious.

**shige-sthetic**

> _Then how did you find it? -.-_

**fangsandsports**  
  
> _Tumblr recommendation. Just found it interesting I guess._  
> _Youre being kind of an ass, tho._  
> _I’ll better unfollow u._

**shige-sthetic**  
  
> _Sorry, I just created this blog and shared it with some people.  
_ > _I thought you were one of my teammates._

**fangsandsports**

> _Uh, huh.._

**shige-sthetic**

> _Sorry again._

**fangsandsports**

> _Yeah, wtv._  
> _…why do u have a creampuff as icon? lol_

**shige-sthetic**

> _My senpai calls me that_.  
> _And he was the one that insisted I had to share my tumblr_.  
> _So, just to make him happy I created this shitty site_.

**fangsandsports**

> _Da fuq?_

**shige-sthetic**

> _He’s really annoying._ _No way i’d give all of them my real tumblr lol_

**fangsandsports**

> _Pff, i know what u mean._  
> _Thats because…?_

 

Yahaba considered his answer for a moment. This was a stranger he was talking to; did he really need to say the truth? On the other hand, why not? It wasn’t like he knew this person, right? If they were homophobic, he would block them and end of story.

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Cause i’m gay as fuck and my blog isn’t how they picture me at all_

 

He waited for the answer, but minutes passed and he started to believe he had grossed the other out.

 

**fangsandsports**

> _Fuck what ppl think._

 

Yahaba let go of a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. The second person (after his best friend) he came out to, was supportive as well. It was a relief, even if they were some random individual across the other side of the world.

 

**fangsandsports**

> _So.. seems like u don’t trust that team of yours._

That struck a nerve.

**shige-sthetic**

> _Of course I do!! Just.._ _not with this thing!!_

**fangsandsports**

> _Lol, easy man._

> _Or, wtv you are._

**shige-sthetic**

> _I’m a gay man, thank you for asking._

 

Yahaba snorted. He was actually enjoying the conversation. His nature betrayed him and had to add:

 

_> What about you? You hate people but here you are talking with a human being.  
> Unless you’re an evolved kind of bot D:_

**fangsandsports**

> _HA very funny._

> _And same._

**shige-sthetic**

> _??_

**fangsandsports**

> _…gay too, i guess._

> _Or more like, idk yet_

**shige-sthetic**

> _Hm, you don’t know? Confused maybe?_

**fangsandsports**

> _Yeah, as hell._

 

He looked at the hour. 23:20. _Oh god_ , soon he should be going to sleep, or else his morning routine would be ruined. At least he was already in bed, the only source of light being the blinding glow of his phone.

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Sorry, I need to go. If you need advice just ask someone?_

**fangsandsports**

> _As if._

**shige-sthetic**

> _Haha, weren’t you who said ‘fuck what people said’?_

**fangsandsports**

_> Fuck YOU.  
_ > _That icon doesnt suit you after all_.

**shige-sthetic**  
_  
_ > _Lol you’re right_.

 

Yahaba sighed as he eyed the hour again. 23:35. _Shit_.  How did time pass so fast?! Ignoring his tired eyes telling him to go the fuck to sleep, he continued. _Better do this quickly_.

  
> _Ok then. Tell me, if you want._  
> _What are you confused about? is there a guy you like, or just in general?_  
> _Cause, in my case i started by reading gay stuff and then couldn’t look at guys the same way again.  
_ > _Pretty pathetic tbh_

 

Now he realized he hadn’t checked his real blog –the sinful one- in two days. Not that he had a lot of followers or anything. He would occasionally log in to read fanfiction and reblog fanart of his favorite shows. He had never talked to anyone chat-like, only once or twice to ask a few questions, but nothing too personal. This new thing was interesting, and he wanted to keep doing it.

 

**fangsandsports**

> _I kinda like him?_ _Idk if its that thing, or i just want to be his friend_  
> _He hates my guts tho._

**shige-sthetic**

> _Ow, sorry man_  
> _But don’t be so pessimistic. Did he say so?_

**fangsandsports**

> _Doesnt need to.  
_ > _Hes an asshole most of the time._

**shige-sthetic**

> _Why do you like him then? :/_

**fangsandsports**

> _…things._

**shige-sthetic**

> _Hey, I’m trying to help here. It’s not like i’m going to judge you  
_ > _I’m in no position for that, lol_

**fangsandsports**

> _Just.._ _i really don’t wanna talk about this.  
> Werent you going?_

**shige-sthetic**

_> Wow, rude. Was trying to help_  
  
**fangsandsports**

_> I know_  
> Cant talk about this with you.  
> ..maybe another day.  
  
**shige-sthetic**  
  
> _Ok._  
> _Hey btw your blog is actually cute. Full of dogs x3_

**fangsandsports**

> _You really are gay huh._

**shige-sthetic**

> _Shut up._  
> _Good night_

And just because he couldn’t help himself, he had to add:

_> And good luck Don Juan ;) _

**fangsandsports**

> _WHY._

 

Yahaba was amused. Maybe he could actually help a guy somewhere. _Who knows_ , he thought, _maybe I’m making a new friend_.

 The moment he turned off his phone and left it on the bedside table, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think, or talk to me here: http://milanesa-kardiaca.tumblr.com/  
> i love chatting! (i speak spanish too)


	4. Something's changing, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoutani’s POV. It goes a long way back in retrospective, and a little bit more happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank all of you who read, leave kudos and comment here. I love you people, you keep me going! ;3; 
> 
> I hope this was worth the waiting. In my defense, this one’s the longest chapter so far. 
> 
> *Throws this garbage at you and goes back to the corner*
> 
> Enjoy =v=

At first, Kyoutani had paid no mind to the source of his turmoil. It had begun that first year at Seijoh. Everytime he saw the boys from his team being friendly with each other, it made him feel something strange and indescribable in his stomach. Whether they hugged, patted their backs, or even smiled to the other, he would grimace as if experiencing internal pain. It made him despise teamwork, and he grew more irritated towards them than usual. The captain at the time tried by all means to make him practice with the rest of the team, but to no avail. Whenever he hit a good spike and someone would make a gesture to approach him, he would recoil and growl in exasperation. Eventually, practice became unbearable both for him and for the unlucky ones teamed up with him. So he left. He was sure no one was going to miss him, and he certainly wouldn’t miss anyone.

 

Kyoutani wasn’t a friendly guy. Even in High School, it had been really difficult for him to make friends, but he had had a few he would sometimes talk about videogames. He had lost contact with them, but he couldn’t mind any less. His physical appearance didn’t help much either: the heavy eye bags due to motherly inheritance made him look sick and weak. He had learned to cover them thanks to his older sister’s make-up tips, with eyeliner and concealer. That way, he seemed more like a delinquent than a weakling, and he preferred it. To complement the look, he had bleached his hair, leaving two dark lines untouched. After that, the small amount of possible friends had decreased to zero. He felt comfortable with himself. People weren’t willing to befriend him because of how he looked? Then screw them, they weren’t worth his time.

 

However, a year passed and he _did_ miss the team. He was disgusted with himself. He felt like something in his life was… absent.

 

It couldn’t be that he missed playing volleyball, because he had spent his free time practicing at the backyard of his house. Tossing, receiving, but specially spiking against the walls (to his mother’s dismay and his older sister’s exasperation).

Maybe because he was sixteen now, he was craving social interaction? It made no sense. But still, he knew the only place he had felt _relatively_ welcome was Aoba Johsai’s volleyball team. Since he fought the idea of coming back, he did so two months after the beginning of the second year.

 

He started with the wrong foot.

Firstly, he had appeared without noticing anyone he was coming back, so he had to endure their incredulous faces. And secondly, he had pushed past Yahaba Shigeru, making him land on the floor. Wow, he still remembered the guy’s name. Not that this was going to help him make friends from day one. The boy looked at him surprised, not offended, as if waiting Kyoutani would help him stand up.

He didn’t, and he didn’t offer an apologize either, continuing his way towards the ball cart. _Old habits are hard to remove, I guess_.

 

Iwaizumi-senpai was the only relief these last weeks he had to endure playing with them again. He gave him simple but helpful advices, and never called him Mad Dog, not even once. Also, he would smack Oikawa on the head whenever he called him that name. He appreciated that, a lot.

Their match against Karasuno was the first he played with this team, and he knew he was Seijoh’s hidden card. That made him anxious to show his best to their rivals. But in the end it had only led him to act recklessly and selfishly, as Yahaba made sure to make him see.

 _Against a fucking wall_. Yeah, that was pretty intense. He could have imagined it coming from anyone but from Yahaba Shigeru, the ‘oh so innocent and lovely creampuff of the team’, as Oikawa had accurately described him. Until then.

Scarcely a few centimeters from Yahaba’s angry face he remembered thinking “ _holy shit, what the fuck is happening right now?”_ The guy had balls, he had to admit it. Harsh method as it had been, it successfully made him realize what he’d been doing.

In the end, they had lost. He was sure he was to blame, of course. He knew everyone was thinking so, silently blaming him but nobody daring to say it to his face.

But again, Yahaba was there to talk sense into him. Seriously, that guy was everywhere now?

Something made click into him that day in the lockers room after the match. While Yahaba (reading his mind) was reassuring him that it hadn’t been his fault, that everyone on the team suffered the lost and that they would definitely be better next time, the weird feeling inside his stomach had returned, except this time without the eerie ache. But what had utterly shocked him was the crying. The only one brave enough to confront him in public was now _broken_ in front of him? That couldn’t be right. Furthermore, the guy _apologized_ to him. When it was Kyoutani who felt like he should apologize for, well, pushing him one year ago without any reason, and creating so many problems to the team.

 

 

After that, he could tell something had changed inside him. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he definitely wanted to make his team proud, not only himself. He wanted to be someone they didn’t hate. As a result, practice became so much more enjoyable.

More than once, Kyoutani caught himself staring at Yahaba Shigeru longer than what was socially acceptable. He couldn’t help it, though; the guy had showed concern for him, and that was something new. He wanted him to be his friend. It had to be that.

In the course of one week, he started to become aware of Yahaba’s personal traits: how his perfect hairstyle _somehow,_ even after jumping and running, always fell in place only slightly disheveled; how his nose would crinkle whenever a toss didn’t go the way he wanted it to; the way he would burst out laughing with Watari and the first years...which provoked the familiar feeling of his stomach twisting with, OH and now he could give it a name: _envy_. No, it wasn’t that, it differed because he felt pain, not hate. Longing. That was the wor-

“Yahoo, Mad Dog-chan! You’re distracted today aren’t you?” a loud, known voice came to his years.

_Oh no, oh god._

He only growled in response and went back to the task, ignoring Oikawa’s teasing. He didn’t look at Yahaba’s way again to see if he had noticed. He was sure Watari had, though; he had been quiet the whole time and now he could feel his discreet gaze on him. Great.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Oikawa was truly insufferable. That is, worse than usual. Kyoutani tried so hard to ignore his know-it-all glares. The captain kept winking at him, as if he still didn’t get that all those looks were directed to him. Thank god he didn’t team him with Yahaba. _Thank god? Why would it be a bad idea? We need to practice together after all, especially after last match, i shouldn’t feel uncomfortable…_

During a little break he took his phone out and checked his tumblr, just because he didn’t know what else to do. Approach someone and talk about… what? The weather? Ha.

Kyoutani was a devoted fan of Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary, he followed their posts everywhere. Those old dogs always made his day no matter how bad about himself he was feeling. He himself had a two year old dog, a mongrel he found wet and hurt one day near his house. He had been asking for a dog since he was little, and his mother couldn’t resist the pair of puppy eyes asking for a yes (both the puppy and Kyoutani’s). As the puppy grew up, it seemed to be the most absurd of mixture: half German shepherd half corgi. Hilarious yet adorable at the same time.

He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Oikawa creeping from behind his back until too late. He heard a gasp in his ear.

“Oh my god, Mad Dog. You’re so cute!”

 _“_ Get off of me, Oikawa _”_ he shrugged him off, grunting in embarrassment.

The captain was already heading to the changing room, but before disappearing through the door he turned around and winked at Kyoutani.

“Just stay tuned, Mad Dog-chan. Leave it to Oikawa-senpai”

He snorted. _What the hell is wrong with this guy?_

 

 

He understood what Oikawa meant once he got home.

Even though he didn’t check his phone after greeting Aki, his hyperactive dog, and telling his mother he was home.

“Welcome home, Ken-chan. How did school go today?” he heard her voice coming from her work room.

His mother was always home. She worked as a dressmaker all day and all night long. Kyoutani admired her and tried his best to don’t cause her any troubles. She deserved it, after raising him and his sister all by herself.

Involuntarily he held a sigh. He petted Aki’s head, as she was craving attention from him.

“Fine, I guess”

“That doesn’t sound fine at all” commented the woman, leaving her current work on her lap to take a better look at her son.

“Just, volley things. Don’t worry”

He retrieved his phone from his pocket. The constant beeping was driving him crazy. He had (7) unread chat group notifications.

Kyoutani’s eyes went bigger as he read them. He was gaping too, doubtless.

_HOW THE FUCK…?!_

So, this is what Oikawa was talking about? God damn him. How did he know? Oh, right, he had been peeking from behind his shoulder and saw him scrolling through tumblr. But that didn’t answer his unsaid question.

Oikawa thought that he perhaps… was after Yahaba?!

He started hyperventilating and dropped himself on the couch to calm down. His sight became blurry all of a sudden, and his heart rate increased in his chest. His captain’s winks and looks made sense now. Too much sense.

 Aki caught on his distress and jumped on his lap, licking his face to distract him.

“Ha ha, who’s a good girl?” he played along. It helped his panic attack to regress a little.

Sighing, he took his head in his hands. He needed to think about this.

He couldn’t recall only one time when Oikawa hadn’t been right about his instincts. But there was _absolutely no way_ he could possibly like stupid Yahaba.

He just wanted to be his friend. He knew that since the other had paid so much attention to him like no one had. Yes, that was it.

Relieved, and _only out of curiosity_ , he reminded himself, he began checking the newly found information: Yahaba’s tumblr. It was full of artistic photography and abstract art, plus some bits of volleyball techniques. Just as boring and plain as the owner.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

During lunch time the day after, he tried to find the reason behind his actions. If he now craved to belong in a group of friends, then why didn’t he also reach to Watari, or better: Iwaizumi? Instead, he invested his time wondering what kind of music must Yahaba listen to, what he does when he gets home, or which TV series he’s into. He convinced himself that he only felt curious about Yahaba because no one had ever talked to him that blunt way before. It was kind of sad, actually.

 _Speaking of the devil_ , he noticed Watari and Yahaba having lunch under a tree. The latter was sprawled on the grass with his eyes closed. He seemed relaxed, and Kyoutani held a sigh, just as he had been doing since yesterday.

The midday sunlight making its way through the leaves made Yahaba look _surreal_. Kyoutani frowned. _Why am I admiring him so much? Yeah, he’s pretty and all but-_

Watari was staring at him inquiringly. And now Yahaba was sitting up, with an annoyed expression on his face.  When he heard Watari calling him he was already fleeing away from them.

_SHIT this can’t be worse. I’ve been caught. I’m such a creep._

He only stopped running once he got to his favorite spot: the roof. Nobody liked going up there, it was too cold in winter and too hot in summer. He shivered a little, but it suited his actual need of quietness just fine.

Panting, the realization came down on him. He thought Yahaba was pretty, not plain at all. Furthermore, he had used the word _surreal_ in his mind. Oh god, he had it bad.

It was all Oikawa’s fault. He wouldn’t have thought of Yahaba _that way_ if the setter hadn’t suggested it. Now the only thing that rested to do was to confirm it.

 

 

Throughout practice that afternoon, he couldn’t tear his eyes from Yahaba, trying to figure what it was that he could possibly like of him. The guy was just like anyone else. Save from those characteristic mannerisms, like the way he bit his lip when he was about to send the ball in the air, or how he would touch his hair to comb it in place, even though there was obviously no need for that. Kyoutani was at a lost. He couldn’t concentrate enough to play as good as always.

 Yahaba seemed distracted too, his tosses were a lot messier, and he frowned and shouted in frustration. He watched him drink water, and Kyoutani found himself glued in his position, just staring at the way his Adam’s apple would go up and down, swallowing slow motion-like from the bottle. He hadn’t properly notices his lips before. They seemed soft, unlike the words that usually left them.

He blinked out of his reverie and stumbled back.

Yahaba had turned hastily and was now angrily looking at him. With a soul wrenching furrow. He had been caught staring again, and this time it had been the subject himself.

He couldn’t deal with that. Promptly, he headed to the locker room to get changed and return home to sulk in his bedroom. This day had been too much; he couldn’t bear it any longer.

He was wrong before, though: this could actually get worse.

Apparently, the ‘innocent boy’ had some kind of obsession with grabbing Kyoutani’s collar and shoving him against walls. That didn’t help at all with his current state of emotions.

“Did I upset you, or what’s gotten into you?”

Or perhaps, it did. Bewildered, Kyoutani found himself relishing in the closeness of their bodies, just like when he had been first confronted. Was that something friends experienced often? He couldn’t tell. He wanted to maintain that feeling, but he just couldn’t look straight into Yahaba’s eyes.

“I don’t hate you or anything” he replied. Yahaba had completely misunderstood him, and Kyoutani didn’t want that.

Even in the dusk light that barely illuminated the room, Kyoutani could distinguish little dots scattered on Yahaba’s face. He urgently needed to get out of his presence.

“Just, forget about it”

 

 

Alone in his bedroom, he laid looking at the rooftop in the darkness. He couldn’t get the sensation of Yahaba’s skin off his head. He had only pushed his hand from his collar, but that was all it took to make him stay awake that night. They had been so close. _So close to what?!_

He sighed, for about the fifth time that day. In the remote case he liked Yahaba, -which was _very_ remote- he needed to reflect on what the hell he should do about it.

That pretentious moron, with the perfect hair and slender body, was probably sick of him by now, judging by the glares he directed towards him. Not that Kyoutani could blame Yahaba; he would hate himself too if he were the other. He knew he wasn’t the average teenager that gets along with everybody, and was well aware of the slight fear and rejection he provoked in almost everyone. And unlike him, Yahaba was popular. Not as much as Oikawa, but he was never seen alone.

He was probably heterosexual, Kyoutani blinked in realization. He remembered the match against Karasuno. The thirsty idiot had run towards their blonde manager with a stupid look on his face. Kyoutani grunted and turned to his pillow in distress. He had forgotten about that, and now it came as a reminder of what he couldn’t have.

 

There was no good in lying to himself now. Of all people at school, he had to have a crush on Yahaba Shigeru. Unfair.

 

He resolved to forget about all of this. The guy was not even interested in him –he promptly ignored the wall-shoving incidents, those didn’t count – and was way out of his reach anyway.

It was late and he still couldn’t get to sleep. Tempted, he turned his head to where his guitar rested in the corner of his room. He checked the hour: 23:03. Damn, he’d be kicked out of the house if he started playing it. He plugged his headphones in his iPod instead, setting the Nirvana playlist. When he was fourteen he had been blessed with the discovering of that band. Aside from having easily-understandable lyrics (helping him to improve his English), Kyoutani found its music relatable and cathartic.  

 

_What else should I be?_

_All apologies_

_What else could I say?_

_Everyone is gay._

 

Easily swayed by music, the Yahaba-related concerns began to recede to the back of his mind. _This song_ , he took mental notes, _I should start practicing it_.

Feeling understood by Kurt Cobain, and encouraged by the next songs, Kyoutani took his phone in resolve.  Oikawa had given him an opportunity.

 

_Come as you are, as you were,_

_As I want you to be_

_As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy_

_Take your time, hurry up_

_The choice is yours, don't be late_

 

He was going to take it. Breathlessly, he opened the tumblr app.

 

 **shige-sthethic** +(follow)

_Now following._

 

He dropped his head on the pillow with a ‘thud’. He had done it.

It wasn’t such a big of a deal, though; it wasn’t like he was giving away any personal information about himself. However, it _was_ a big deal, on an emotional level. A little step had been taken.

 

What he hadn’t expected was Yahaba’s immediate suspicion.

He jumped and nearly fell from his bed when he got the message. Luckily, his limbs entangled in the sheets saved him.

 _STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID WHYWHYWHYW_ -

Commanding his heart to calm down, he repeated in his head once, twice, thrice, that Yahaba had _no way_ of knowing for sure who he really was. Feeling safe in the anonymity, he bit his lower lip and decided to go along and lie.

Apparently, the night had another heart-stopping surprise reserved for him.

 

Yahaba was… gay? _As fuck_ , he quoted more exactly. No shit.

That was extremely gratifying, he thought, as he rubbed his hands on his face in order to conceal the extending blush he felt. It wasn’t a long conversation, but as time went by he started to relax and chat more freely to Yahaba.

This wasn’t so bad an idea. Not that he would ever say so to Oikawa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The last remnants of Kyoutani’s denial ended abruptly the following day at practice.

Upon entering the gym, he caught sight of a group of around ten girls hovering over the doorway. He first heard his voice before he saw Yahaba in the middle of the group. He was most likely telling a joke or something, because the girls seemed amused by his presence. His right eye twitched.

Oikawa popped his head and lightheartedly reprimanded his kouhai.

“Yahaba-chaaan! Please stop!  You’ll steal all the girls from me! Come back inside, we’re going to start”

He passed by Yahaba’s side without acknowledging him, though he felt his gaze following him. Indoors, Watari was shaking his head in disapproval.

Kyoutani’s insides tightened. He felt incredibly stupid. Yahaba had said he was gay and that had make him _happy_. What was this supposed to mean then? Sexuality issues were mystifying as hell for him; he was just narrowly deciphering his. Perhaps Yahaba was bisexual? It didn’t matter in the end. He found girls more attractive than him, for sure. And that pissed him off.

Kyoutani tried his best not to let his annoyance show during practice, to no avail. It was a disaster. He was a bunch of nerves ready to snap at anybody who dared look a little too long at him. Even Yahaba seemed taken aback by his attitude. Well, he deserved it.

If he continued like this, it would only be a matter of time until he got scolded by the coaches, or worst: Yahaba. Speaking of whom, everytime he or Oikawa made any of their spectacular serve jumps, the three or four girls at the gate would squeal and giggle idiotically. It was irksome.

 

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”

 

He only realized he had shouted it out loud when his teammates stopped to look at him. The girls had swiftly left after some “rude” and “truly a mad dog” directed to him.

Without changing, he headed to the exit door of the gym before anyone could pursuit him.

His luck decided against his escape.

“Kyoutani, may I have a word with you?”

It was Iwaizumi-senpai who had grabbed his arm. He couldn’t say no to him; there was a limit even for his anger.

“…Fine”

 “Well, well, everyone. Time for a small break!” announced Oikawa clapping his hands.

Iwaizumi released him, walking ahead and sitting on the only bench opposite to the gym.  He sighed and sat next to the boy. He could see the offending girls were still there. There were even more.

 

“Are you okay? You seemed off sync this practice”

 _That’s a way of putting it_.

He shrugged, too upset to properly register it was Iwaizumi-senpai he was shrugging to.

“Hmn. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But sometimes we need to address what’s bothering us, because… -Iwaizumi seemed conflicted, debating between saying or not the next words- it could become a heavy burden on your shoulders to carry alone.

Kyoutani had the slight impression Iwaizumi was speaking for both of them.

He watched Oikawa and Yahaba getting out of the gym, only to be stopped and surrounded by the feminine crowd. He didn’t want to creep his senpai out by confessing he liked a man. After a moment of doubt, he chose to tell the truth. There wasn’t anyone besides Iwaizumi he could trust this with; and he needed to talk, desperately.

“Uhm. So, I don’t know how to befriend someone. And I… I don’t even know if I only want to be friends with them. Probably doesn’t like me the way I do. It’s confusing as hell” he blurted out, fidgeting with his fingers. He purposely avoided saying specific male pronouns. Nonetheless, he couldn’t believe he had said it. Another little step for the record.

The other boy gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

 “Thanks for relying on me, Kyoutani. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

 _I never thought you would_.

Without taking his eyes off the group of excited girls, Iwaizumi kept talking in a softer voice.

“You should tell him, though. Before it’s too late”

Abashed, Kyoutani turned to the older boy. “Wait, Iwaizumi-senpai, I don’t… ugh, damn it. H-how?” he stuttered.

 “Once you have figured out what it is that you want, the sooner you get it out, the better. Trust me. You shouldn’t wait too long. Just, try not to take it on the girls” His voice came out a little strangled.

“Is everything alright?” This time it was Kyoutani’s turn to show concern.

Iwaizumi just smiled at him, and gave him another pat on the shoulder, before standing up and heading to the inside of the gym again.

“Thank you”, he said, sure Iwaizumi could still hear him. He just nodded with his head.

 

Another group of girls had been encouraged to surround Yahaba and Oikawa by the latter’s exaggerated gestures and fake smiles. Kyoutani buffed.

 _Tell him_.

Yeah, sure. There was absolutely no way-

 

Oh, but there was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I deeply feel this boy (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡  
> SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES   
> He was really difficult to write, so tell me what you think? 
> 
> (Hehe sorry for the cliffhanger, but i'll update soon, promise) :3


	5. Something’s changing pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i promised i would post sooner, i'm sorry!   
> This time i won't promise anything so i can't let anyone down xD

Technically, he’s addressing what’s bothering him, just as Iwaizumi advised.  Not in the most conventional way, but he’s doing it.

 

**fangsandsports**

> _I hate him, and i hate myself for liking him._

 

Kyoutani isn’t stupid. In the case Yahaba is interested in girls _and_ guys, he knows he certainly isn’t someone Yahaba would find attractive. He’s positive he’s the ugliest in the team, probably in the entire school. Never a girl approached him to confess, or received a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, like he saw regularly happening to everyone around him. Not that it had ever been an issue. He had been glad no one cared to bother him. Until now. Now it was an issue, because he craved a certain setter’s attentions.

Furthermore, after his outburst with the girls at practice just a few hours ago, Yahaba would be beyond angry, waiting for tomorrow to kick his ass into sense _. Or he could just slam me against a wall._ Wide eyed, he shook those thoughts away. Things were getting out of control.

Coming back to reality, he felt an ache in his chest, announcing the rejection he knew would come if he ever confessed. _Crushes are shit_.

It wasn’t too late an hour. He could still hear noise coming from the kitchen, and his sister was probably studying in her room. Kyoutani grabbed his guitar and started singing a song he liked, but never thought he would ever relate to.

 

 _You´re awful bright, you´re awful smart_  
  
I must admit you broke my heart   
  
The awful truth is really sad   
  
I must admit I was awful bad 

 

He didn’t know very well how the lyrics went on, but that was sufficient. He sighed, feeling the burden lightening a little.

“Kyou-chan is in love oh my GOD!!”

 _Oh no_.

“Don’t come in-”

The door flew open, revealing the chaos of long black hair that was his sister. She leaned on the doorframe crossing her arms.

“Come on, who was that song for? A special girl caught your heart?” Mizuki grinned. He hadn’t seen her that excited in a long time. They both had the same eye-bags, and hers were increased by the lack of sleep. Usually they wouldn’t interact too much; she was always busy studying for college or working a part-time job to help their mother. Not many years ago, they used to go to concerts together, but now she barely had time to eat meals before she went back to the books.

Kyoutani just laid sit on his bed, with the guitar resting on his lap.

“Didn’t know you could understand English” was his smug answer.

“HA!? You little shit, I’m four years older than you, don’t forget!”

Kyoutani put the guitar aside before her attack could harm it. Mizuki threw herself on top of him. She rubbed his head repeating “My bro is growing up, I’m so proud!” as a song.

“Ugh, stop it already, Mizuki!” he shoved her away, but couldn’t help a chuckle escape from his lips.

“Ouch ouch! New piercing!” she wined, massaging her mouth.

“Damn. Sorry”

She combed her wild hair with her fingers, to no avail.

“Ok, but I’m not leaving until you tell me, little brother” and to reinforce her words, she sat cross-legged next to him on the bed.

Kyoutani pinched the bridge of his nose.

“It’s probably unrequited. I’m not in the mood to talk about it”

“Why!? You’re like super handsome, why would you think so?”

“He’s, umh…”

“Oh.”

_Shit._

“Please, don’t say any-”

“It’s like a dream coming true”

Mizuki’s face was all dreamy. She was looking at the ceiling, widely smiling.

“What the hell?”

“Nothing!” she said too quickly. “I can help you, if you want me to”

Kyoutani carefully studied her face. Mizuki would be the second person to know about his crush. Third, if he counted Yahaba. Speaking of which, he eyed his phone and now saw the flashing blue light. A message from tumblr.

“I already kind of spoke to a senpai”

“So? You can tell your big sis whatever else you feel like. Is he from the volleyball team?”

Kyoutani jerked, giving himself away.

“Oh my goood”

She was covering her mouth with her hand, and her cheeks were growing red.

“I bet it’s the guy that pushed you against the wall that other day”

 _Earth, swallow me._ He covered his face between his knees, pulling his short hair in frustration.

“Was I too obvious?”

“Not you! _He_ certainly was!”

He lifted his head at that.

“What do you mean?”

“Duh, who does something like that? He must have the hots for you, Kyou-chan”

“Yahaba? For me? Pff, as if”, he snorted. “He was just really angry, and he did that instead of punching me”

“I beg to differ. But, whatever, keep denying it to yourself”, she smiled, patting his head. “Get some sleep, my oblivious bro. Nice talk, by the way. We should do this more often”

“Yeah… Good night, big sis.”

As soon as Mizuki closed the door behind her, he retrieved his phone.

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _What did he do?_ _> :O_

> _Hey, you there? U ok?_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _Hey. It’s nothing. I’m just jealous._

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _You just said you hated him.. That isn’t nothing, lol_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _Smartass_

> _..Sorry  
  
_ > _He gets on my nerves._

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _So what happened?_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _I think he likes girls. And I’m not one, not even close_.

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Hmm_  
  
> _He’s dating someone?_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _HA, no, idk, i hope not_

_> He's just..  kinda popular with girls  
_

Kyoutani’s heart almost stopped. He hadn’t thought of that –even worse- possibility. He didn’t think Yahaba was dating anyone, but how could he know for sure? He wasn’t a close friend, god, he wasn’t even a _friend_ to him. The more he thought about their online conversations, the more insecure he felt about Yahaba’s private life. He had said he liked boys, but the way he had acted told him all the opposite.

**shige-sthetic**

> _Not trying to defend him, but_

> _Maaaybe (and I’m self-inserting here)he’s insecure about sth?_

> _Like, that is only a façade_

> _Haha sorry, cause it’s also what I do_

> _Don’t hate me?_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _What_

> _Weren’t you like super gay or sth_

> _Why would  you do that? I swear to god_

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Haha, yeah I am 8)_

> _I mean, I like girls but not in a romantic or sexual way.. they’re fun, I feel comfortable._

> _And I don’t want my secret to come out yet, you know. So I pretend I like them a little more, that’s all._

> _Like today. Umm, I got this senpai that attracts all the girls lol, so I just pretend I’m interested in them too?  
  
_ > _Good image for the team I guess._

 

Kyoutani has his mouth hanging open. He’s dumbfounded.

**fangsandsports**

> _Unbelievable_

> _What if one of them is really interested and wants to date you?_

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _O__O …never thought of it_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _You are the worst_

> _Playing with people’s feeling just to cover yourself_

_> Pitiful_

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Dude, I never saw it that way.._

> _You’re right, that’s a bad thing to do_

 

Kyoutani already felt relieved, but he decided to push his luck a little more.

**fangsandsports**

_> Also, what if a guy is interested in you and he doesn’t approach because, you know, the fictional girlfriends?_

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _HOLY SHIT_

 

Kyoutani smiles, pleased with himself. Now, time to keep up the charade.

**fangsandsports**

> _Well, at least this makes one jerk less in the world_

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Sounds like you just killed me :/_

 

**fangsandsports**

> _Didn’t i?_

 

**shige-sthetic**

> _Valid point_

> _Hope he isn't like me_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The following day when Kyoutani was heading to the gym doors, he found yesterday’s female crowd forming a little circle around Oikawa. He pointedly noted Yahaba was absent in the group. _Good_.

They caught sight of him and flinched a little, some of them making faces of disgust. Kyoutani inhaled and stepped towards them.  
  


“I’m sorry about yesterday. I, uhh, lost focus”  
  


The girls, and Oikawa the most, wore shocked faces, but didn’t say anything. As if they were expecting something more.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Please keep supporting us”, he muttered.

Kyoutani turned around to enter the gym, but a hand on his arm made him stop.

“We’re sorry, Kyoutani-kun. We’ll try to keep our voices lower this time”, one of them said, smiling sheepishly. He nodded and she let go. _Wow, that was awkward_.

Once inside, the first thing he met was Yahaba’s astonished gaze.  
  


“Did you just… _apologize_?”  
  


Ah, there he was, the ever sassing Yahaba Shigeru, whom he unfortunately had a crush on. He held his stare for a moment, before smirking.

“I did. I’m not a jerk, you know”

He regretted saying that word the second after. He went straight to the locker room, casting only a quick glance at Yahaba, who was tilting his head to a side. Not a realization face, good.

_Oh my god, it was close. I have to be extra careful. Good thing he’s an idiot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it too obvious i totally fell for Mizuki? LOL
> 
> Oh, I was bored and drew a little thing for the last chapter: http://lerandomgayfanarts.tumblr.com/post/151396317641/my-lame-attempt-at-comic-you-can-see-the-exact  
>  (I don’t understand why it isn’t showing in the tags though *shrugs*)
> 
> Thanks again for reading! I really appreciate if you leave comments telling me what you think :D


	6. Something's changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my friend CheetahLeopard2, who betad this chapter and is always so fun and nice to talk to. This chapter is dedicated to them :3 thank you!!

Yahaba is curious about his online friend. Can he label him as a friend, though? Anyway, this person showed up, and started to speak to him –and _scold_ him- barely days ago, and suddenly now he’s aware of all his actions towards others, especially girls. This dog lover dude made him realize in a couple of minutes what Watari had been trying to tell him for… what? A year? More? 

The very little Yahaba knows about him is that he’s a boy, goes to high school just like him, likes animals, volleyball, rock music… and not much else. Oh, and all this time they’ve been speaking Japanese, so they live in the same country.  

Yahaba is curious, but not in a personal sense. He won’t ask for the other’s name, or which city he lives in, because that would lead the other to ask him the same in return. They support each other and that’s enough for him. He’s curious in a… philosophical way. Like for example, what were the odds that tumblr would recommend this person his blog just a day after he created it, and decided to follow him? No, the question that was bugging him the most was _and what if he hadn’t done it?_ He would probably still be flirting with girls alongside Oikawa. Breaking some hearts. 

It was surprising how they, two strangers, casually talked like old acquaintances. It felt familiar, somehow, the way they would bicker at each other but still continue talking afterwards. As if something compelled them to check that the other wasn’t completely mad. It reminded him a lot of Kyo- 

Just as he was lost in his thoughts, a blue notification popped up. Yahaba felt the color drain from his face when he saw who it was from.   
  


 **fangsandsports**  

> _Hey_  

> _Sorry about yesterday_  

> _I was a bit harsh_  

> _..you_ _kinda_ _deserved it_ _tho_    
 

It had to be a joke from the universe. His fingers trembled over the screen of his phone. He certainly was intrigued now. This was the kind of coincidence Oikawa would attribute to aliens. Watari was by his side, trying to finish his due homework for next class, and eating lunch at the same time. He had been too focused to notice Yahaba’s flinch.   
  


 **shige-sthetic**  

> _I’m not sure if this is an apology then?_  

> _lol_ _, joking._  

> _I’m thankful actually. My friend was always trying to warn me about the flirting but_ _i_ _would never listen_  

> _He’s too kind_  

 **fangsandsports**  

> _You’re welcome_    
  


Yahaba waited a little more, but apparently the guy didn’t have much else to say. He glanced at Watari, who wasn’t paying him any attention. If there weren’t a conversation going on, it was okay to keep chatting with this guy. Yahaba hated it when people avoided him in favor of their phones.   
  


 **shige-sthetic**  

> _So how was it with that guy?_  

> _Figured it out? Confessed to him?_  

 **fangsandsports**  

> _Omg_. 

> _Yes, and no,_ _i_ _dont_ _think_ _i’ll_ _ever do that._  

 **shige-sthetic**  

> _Haha_ _you sound so cute!_ _lol_   

> _Oh , shit_  

 _> Right, you said he liked girls_  

> _Sorry ;-;_  

 **fangsandsports**  

> _I thought so, but.._ _i_ _might be wrong_  

 **shige-sthetic**  

> _Sooo_ _??? What’s stopping you!??_  

 **fangsandsports**  

> _Calm down man_  

 _> I really don’t think he’s into me, that’s all_  

 **shige-sthetic**  

> _Oh? Well, if you need advice on pick up lines… don’t come to me_  

> _x’D_  

 **fangsandsports**  

 _> I wasn’t __gonna_ _ask for counsel to the guy that spent his life flirting with girls to avoid gay-suspicion_  

 **shige-sthetic**  

 _> You just invented that word :(_  

 **fangsandsports**  

 _> I did_  

 **shige-sthetic**  

> _Hey! But seriously,_ _i_ _could find you some help_  

> _I could ask my_ _senpais_ _…_  

> _Never mind, bad idea_  

 **fangsandsports**  

> _I won’t ever confess shit to him, so drop it :/_  

 **shige-sthetic**  

> _OMG YOU USED AN EMOJI!!!_  

> _you really got it bad don’t you_  

 **fangsandsports**  

> _-.-_  

 

“Who are you so enthusiastically writing to?” Watari’s teasing voice startled him. 

“An online friend”, simply replied Yahaba. He promptly locked and put away his phone. “The guy is struggling with his gayness.” 

“I guess you can understand each other then.” 

“Yeah. Well. Actually, he made me realize how stupid I’ve been acting.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Mmm, he said he liked a guy who was constantly flirting with girls. And I… uhm I said that in my case it was, you know, to avoid suspicions? He got super mad at me after that.” 

Watari narrowed his eyes and pressed a hand on his chest, “The exact same thing I’ve been saying to you, Yahaba. I’m hurt. How long have you been texting each other?” 

“I know. Sorry, you were right. About a week? I don’t know.” 

Watari was silent. He wasn’t angry, but he looked pensive. 

“You mean, right after you created that fake blog?”  

“Yup. Why are you asking so many questions? You sound like my mother.” 

“Hmm…” 

“What?” 

“I may be wrong, but… too much coincidence.” he mumbled in a low voice. 

“What is?” 

Watari made a gesture with his hand, signifying there was little importance to it. But his brow was still furrowed. “Nothing. Don’t mind me. I’m just too weary of online friendships.” 

 “Me too, but he’s just so stubborn and… adorable? If he ever says something creepy I’ll block him, promise.” 

“Woo, ‘adorable’?! Oh my god, Yahaba…” 

“Just shut up, ok? There’s nothing going on. Let me help you with that, Sherlock.” Yahaba motioned to grab Watari’s half-finished math exercises in an attempt to let his hair cover his face. Why was he feeling embarrassed all of a sudden? 

“Thanks, man.” 

Yahaba could still feel Watari’s gaze study him for a couple of minutes. 

“Mind if I take a look at this guy’s blog meanwhile?” 

“You really sound like my mom after all. Yeah, no problem. Just don’t do anything” 

 

* * *

 

 

Practice in the afternoon was relaxed. Yahaba felt relieved; the air seemed less charged than two weeks ago, when they all had returned defeated but fired up. He was still feeling frustrated with himself, but he knew everyone was trying their best. There was only one thing to do, and it was take things calmly and keep on practicing.

Glad for the change of pace, he went to the ball cart, already emptying. Correction: It was empty. He looked around and caught sight of Kyoutani. He was staring at him, with a ball in his hands.

“Toss for me?”

He blinked, standing awkwardly in his place. Yahaba though he was hearing things. He couldn’t remember the last time the boy had actually come to him in good terms.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Are you coming or not”

Oh. That made him wake up from his reverie.

“Uhm… where?”

“Let’s go a bit far from the others. I want to try something”

Yahaba followed Kyoutani like an automat to the opposite side of the gym. He couldn’t help observing the way Kyoutani’s leg muscles worked. They never ceased to amaze him. The guy could probably shatter a watermelon into a hundred pieces if he wanted to.  
  


 _I’m exaggerating_. He shook those thoughts aside.  
  


Yahaba took the ball from Kyoutani’s hands, fingers brushing a little. He set it for a normal spike, wondering what it was he wanted to try.

Kyoutani was still facing Yahaba as he jumped in the air. Without tearing his gaze apart from him, he unfurled his right arm to reach the ball and spike it to the other side of the net.

“Wha-!”

“One more”  
  


_He didn’t even watch the ball at all!_   
  


Five tosses later, Kyoutani had already dominated the weird technique. After a particularly good one, Yahaba couldn’t keep the praises from coming out, excitedly.

“That was awesome, Kyoutani! Oh my god! Where did you get this idea from?”

Kyoutani scratched the back of his neck, smiling.  
  


_Oh my god is he smiling at me? For real?_   
  


“The Olympics. It just looked so cool, I wanted to try it. Though it probably won’t be of much use.”

“How come! If we keep practicing, we can use it as a secret weapon in no time. This is fantastic.”

Yahaba patted Kyoutani’s back, pleased to be getting along with the future ace. It totally wasn’t an excuse to touch his strong back muscles.

 

* * *

 

Those moves. Hitting the ball sideways, without looking at it… Watari had just confirmed his earlier suspicions. “fangsandsports” was Kyoutani, there was no doubt about it. The thing was, should he tell his best friend, or let him figure it out by himself? Conflicted between friendship and a strange sense of respect to Kyoutani’s secret, he decided to wait and see how things developed.

 

* * *

 

Late that night, Yahaba was having trouble to sleep. He knew that play; he had recently seen it somewhere. Probably on TV.

But what caused him insomnia were Kyoutani’s sharp eyes glued to him while he spiked the ball. He was sure _that_ wasn’t an essential part of the technique. He felt his face become hotter. _No. NO, SHIGERU, DON’T._

The unexpected vibration of his phone almost made his heart stop. He messily searched for it in the dark. Frowning to become accustomed to the brightness of the screen, he opened the chat.

**Oikawa-san > Congrats, my adorable kouhai! Great moves!!**

**Oikawa-san > I’m so proud! -(** **๑** **☆** **‿** **☆** **#)** **ᕗ**

**Oikawa-san > …and you tamed the Mad-Dog**

**Oikawa-san > ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

Yahaba deadpanned.

 _Select. Change contact info to - > Oikawa_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the technique Kyoutani tried:  
> http://fangsandsports.tumblr.com/post/149255422008/yaxbou-nolook
> 
> A little announcement: i will probably not update for quite some time :/ I've got incoming exams and i've done nothing but procrastinate *is overwhelmed by anxiety*
> 
> So i just want to let you know i appreciate EVERY SINGLE one of you who read, comment, leave kudos, etc!! Thank you! If it hadn't been for that, this story would still be in chapter one. LOVE you!! ;3;


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